Marvin Chemo Therapy Fund

Early Marvin

Marvin needs a very specialized type of targeted therapy testing to determine which treatment is the most efficient. It is a personalized protocol where the cancer cells are tested against several different chemicals. The Laboratory is the  Wiesenthal Cancer Group in California

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If There Is Anything I Can do Please Call

Just for my own edification, what would an appropriate word or series of words be that would describe somebody who says to you “If there’s anything i can do, please call”.,and you take them up on their offer and their response is basically tantamount to “i can’t or won’t help you. I have certainly come up with countless adjectives and descriptive phrases to describe this ilk of human being. Continue reading

the surprise of tears………..

Tears

Today is a day I had planned for the past few days now that I’ve started to sleep again . I’ve been off those horrible things called steroids. I was looking forward to a day of listening to music and making many more additions of ink sketches and some text into what was one of my journals, but has somehow morphed into a repository of random emotions  and I guess you can call them snapshots of my inner dialogue. Continue reading

The Randomness of Thought Truths, Inner and Shared Dialogues

© Marvin Kanarek

When I don’t allow the premeditation of controlled thought, when inner conversation or with others flows unemcumbered on the warm stream of pure emotion and pure truth without any fear of reprisal or judgement is when I realize yet again the beauty, pain, and opportunity of this situation. Continue reading

Every minute Zen

Zen Circle

Yes, I am definitely inside my head right now more than I have ever been in my life! Lots of conversations with myself. But,leaving the inner sanctum and  taking a look around at my surroundings I am loving the fact that I can still express myself. I am still free to make decisions. Nothing is definitive yet. I love my two feline beings. I love my friends and sister and brother.. I love my drums. I love the peacefulness of my temporary guest house. I love the thought of the future music and paintings that are patiently waiting on the runway to take off from Kanarek Intergalactic! I love the strong coffee I am drinking. Continue reading

The Test and the Ordeal

the Ordeal

Yesterday, was a very big day for me and my two wonderful, patient  and courageous friends Rick and Ginger. MRI Day! For a person who does not suffer from claustrophobia or extreme panic attacks this incredible borderline sci-fi procedure could be an adventure. For me it was the ultimate test of Olympian proportions! My typing palms get clammy just remembering those interminable 40-45 minutes! Normally, there was a prescription for sedatives waiting for me. Well, normal is not this situation or the associated events. Yes, I have softened my vitriol towards everything that I felt was and probably still is wrong with America. I am being helped and treated for my situation through the social security and Medicare system. Continue reading